‘But some doubted’. Seriously? After all Jesus had said and done? His miracles, his teaching, his death, his resurrection! I’d like to think if I was there and had seen with my own eyes, I’d have believed. But, of course, faith doesn’t mean we have it all worked out and all our questions answered. Something about our makeup, our design, wants to know more, to understand, to grasp. It’s part of our humanity to be curious, to explore, to discover. A couple of thousand years of theology shows us that. We want to pin it down and understand it. Perhaps the early disciples were the same. Perhaps some of them wanted a full explanation. Perhaps they wanted to know how the Father related to the Son related to the Holy Spirit. ’But Jesus, you said you’re in the Father and the Father is in you and…’ You can just imagine all the questions. Does it mean they’re no longer disciples? That they’re not worthy? Absolutely not: Jesus doesn’t rebuke this; he’s always accepted their misunderstandings, their doubts, their mistakes. He gives this bunch of followers, with their doubts, questions and misunderstandings, the command to make disciples, promising he will be with them until the end of the age. And we haven’t come to end of the age, so the promise remains for us too.
Even if we don’t understand, or we have doubts, or we have more questions than answers, we are not abandoned by Jesus. Being a disciple is just that, we are all apprentices committed to lifelong learning in the faith. Trinity Sunday demonstrates just that—why do you think so many preachers avoid it? We don’t fully understand, none of us do. But when it comes to the Trinity, we experience the mystery of God. We know a loving God who is our parent, caring for our every need; we come to know our risen friend who calls us to follow and teaches us how to live and love; and we experience the presence of the Holy Spirit within, sustaining and equipping us for our journey. We may not get how it all works, and we may doubt just like those early disciples, but we are still given the great commandment to make disciples: teaching all that Jesus has commanded and welcoming new disciples, baptising them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And remember, in this, we’re not alone, God is with us until the end of the age.